I get a lot of dating questions from single people, both in my paid programs, my in person speaking events, and my social media feeds.
One of the most commonly asked questions is:
“Where is the best place to go to meet a quality partner?”
Well, let’s begin with what you shouldn’t be focusing on. It’s one thing I really see botching up people’s love lives right now — the F word (haha…it’s not what you think).
See, we live in a world where everything is expected to happen F.A.S.T. Literally. We live in a world where we can take the frozen dinner out of the freezer and have a hot meal in 4 minutes. We pay for fast.
But the truth of finding healthy love is that this path is actually the opposite of fast.
If you want to build a relationship, and you care about creating a life-long partnership with someone, going fast can be to your detriment. It’s nice to find shortcuts when you can, I mean, heck, that’s one of the services I provide for my clients, but the truth is you want to see your journey more in terms of a long game.
You know the quote, “Slow and steady wins the race?” Well, that’s true in finding the love of your life as well.
TAKE YOUR TIME WHEN DATING
Now, I want to ask you, if you’re looking for the other F words in your love life
…like Fearlessness to put yourself out there in a way that your dream partner will be drawn to you
…if it’s healthy, it’s NOT going to be FAST moving
In fact, love is not just some magical thing that happens instantaneously like in the Disney movies.
We have been consistently exposed to the social script that one falls in love very quickly. Snow White and Sleeping Beauty are examples of love at first sight. In Aladdin, the romance took 2 days to develop, and in Pocahontas it developed in 1 day……even though the characters spoke different languages!
On the other hand, Mulan and The Princess and the Frog developed over time as the characters got to know one another, went through challenges together, and grew a nice friendship over time. It’s nice to see a more healthy relationship formation.
So instead of thinking things need to happen FAAAAAAAAAAST in order for it to be real, think of the turtle and take on being slow and steady.
- Take time getting to know new partners.
- Be open to dating numerous people in a slower fashion who are in alignment with the future you are creating.
- Invest in yourself to gain deep clarity and change your inner game.
- Pace the unfolding of getting close to someone.
And I know this may be WAAAAAAAY OUT THERE to say in this day and age, but here’s another way to slow things down: How about waiting to have s.e.x. until you are exclusive? Whoa, did I just say that!???
And while you can’t order a partner like a hamburger at a fast food restaurant, you can take consistent action to attract that attractive, sexy, and intelligent partner you are looking for.
So instead of asking “Where is the best place to go to meet a quality partner?” the question you should be asking is:
“Who is really the best partner for me in the long term?”
And THEN ask, “Where would this type of partner be?”
Gaining deep clarity on the ultimate life long partner for you, doing the work/actions, dating quality people, and being willing to take on “slow and steady” will get you the love that you truly desire.